Thursday morning dawned and without coffee I made my way to the day surgery facility. I was prepared to draw on my full reserve of patients since Dr. Medlock worked me in on such short notice. To my pleasant surprise I was set for 12:30 and by 12:45 I was being given the "happy juice". The surgery went as planned and I was back home by dinner time.
Friday morning while playing with the remote and realizing there is nothing on during the day my lovely little smart phone buzzed and it was an email from Susan G. Komen "Your virtual Personal Trainer". Now this shouldn't be a big deal as I knew that Friday was the start of the official training for the DFW event, I also knew that just out of surgery I wouldn't be walking over the weekend or for a couple of weeks most likely. But nonetheless it made me a little sad actually I think it is what has started the "poor pitful me ball" to rolling.
Now let me back up and just say that the Dr. said I should be able to walk on my foot later the night of surgery. Which I didn't even try but Friday morning when I couldn't I was bumbed.
Saturday was our team garage sale which I have been collecting things for weeks now and had no intention of cancelling. Thanks to my one of my wonderful sisters and my boyfriends mother who were my legs we made $465.00. Which if I do say so myself that is not to shabby!!!!!!!!! This should have made me fell great since I was still doing something to raise awareness and funds to kick breast cancer booty BUT it didn't. I got home and my foot was huge and hurt even though I had really stayed off of it. So even though we still had a ton we could have sold on Sunday I decided that my teammate and all my helpers had done so much already I couldn't ask them to give up the only remaining day of their weekend, so we took the leftovers to Goodwill.
Sunday I stayed home, kept the foot iced, propped and rested. It is amazing to me that during our day to day crazy lives we would give anything to have a lazy Sunday a day to just watch movies and eat but when we are told we have to have one of those days it makes ME crazy.........lol
It is now noon on Monday and kicking and whinning I came to work today. After all I had been off 2 days and needed to get stuff done. I needed to get back to being me. Easier said than done. Although I am walking on my foot today it is not the most pleasant feeling. My boyfriend had a flat on my car on the way back home after bringing me to work (since I still can't drive myself). I have spent way more money on Dr's in the last two weeks than I really had or certainly planned on.
I want my blanky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But this is T minus 24 weeks until the Susan G. Komen 3day walk for the Cure DFW event. So I started thinking....Why?....Why?.....Why?
Why I am I walking.... because I have heard those words "you have cancer" and this is MY way of doing something so no other mother has to hear those words.
Why am I feeling so sorry for myself.... because I am human and usually for me it is because I am not leaning on God like I should be, sounds like a little prayer time is in order.
Why did my boyfriend have a flat today.... because that is just life and things happen. But what it really means is that we are blessed to have a car that will need repairs.
So although I would love to be planning my routes to meet my 12 miles worth of training this week, I will limit the use of my foot and allow it to heal properly. I will be grateful for the $465.00 we raised during our funraiser and keep working on the next one. I will as my pastor says spend this alone time as God time, and keep heading on this journey that I am learning to call the 3day.
Ps. If you haven't donated yet to a 3day walker click on the pretty pink buttons we all have them on our blogs or on our facebook. There is still money to raise and lifes to change.